Yes, usually Jimi handles the sports posts. Sorry.
I’m 8+ months pregnant. There is very little I can enjoy comfortably these days. You know what I love? Sunday NFL Football. On my own couch.
Born to Pittsburgh natives, I’ve always bled black and gold (or yellow, if Wiz is around).
In the late 90s, when Art Modell did the unthinkable and upped his team out of Cleveland and into Baltimore in the middle of the night, my stepmother sent me to school with a petition to have CBS carry Pittsburgh games. Only one asshole — my pre-calc teacher (hey, guess what, never used a matrix in adulthood — suck on that!) — wouldn’t sign it because he was some kind of old school Baltimore Colts fan.
We lost. Local Steelers fans lost. Know why? NFL doesn’t know their market. It’s not CBS’ fault. Or Fox, for that matter. It’s Roger Goodell and his bad decisions.
The Pittsburgh Steelers 2017 schedule at first gave me great pleasure. The first half of the season is primarily traditional 1 p.m. games. That’s my jam. I want to get up, do some work or errands, then settle in for a lazy afternoon of football.
Guess what? This season, the Steelers are a team to watch. And that’s not just my fandom spilling out. The second half of the season, Pittsburgh plays predominantly in prime time. Why? The NFL knows people will want to see how they’re faring, and ratings equal dollar bills.
I’ve scoured the TV schedule*, and I’ve found five potential conflicts for local Steelers fans throughout the season:
Week 1 @ CLE – CBS early game, along with BAL @ CIN – Sept. 10
This one hurts the most, I think. All I want to do is drive home from Pittsburgh, make some hot ham sandwiches, drink my allowed 1/2 of a Hop Knife and set-up my devices to monitor my Fantasy Football teams.
Week 2 MIN @ PIT – Fox late game, along with PHI @ KC – Sept. 17
34 weeks pregnant. Fuuuuuuck you.
Week 5 JAX @ PIT – CBS early game, but FOX Doubleheader – Oct. 8
FOX has the doubleheader in Week 5, and since CBS favors BAL, their late game @ OAK will be shown. No CBS early game. This hurts my feelings. Like, a lot.
Week 7 CIN @ PIT – CBS early game, along with BAL @ MIN – Oct. 22
This is around my due date, so this is extra insulting to me. Yes, I am taking this all very personally. Hopefully, this game will flex to Fox, and I can watch in relative peace.
Week 17 CLE @ PIT – CBS early game, along with CIN @ BAL – Dec. 31
What, do you think we don’t want to watch Pittsburgh destroy Cleveland? This is two times, Goodell. TWO. It’s also New Year’s Eve, and our household has mixed feelings about the holiday games, but it’s a Sunday. Just rude.
The silver lining would be perhaps that by Week 17, the Steelers are already prepping for the playoffs and aren’t running their starters, but HELLO I WILL HAVE A NEWBORN and all I want to do is watch my goddamn team from the comfort of my own home.
*TIP: Check 506sports.com each week for updates. That’s what I do. Weeks 5-17 are subject to time/station flexes. Cross your fingers and toes.
NFL Sunday Ticket
If you happen to be an AT&T customer, you’re likely regularly harassed to purchase Direct TV. This is the pathway to the NFL Sunday Ticket.
CBS All Access
This is probably what I will try. I use FireTV, so this *should* work. Like I need to pay more $ for TV though.
Fine print: “NFL on CBS programming can be viewed on our service across many platforms, but is not available on mobile phones.”
UPDATE: Finer print: This is stupid and does not work. Go to a bar.
You can uproot your family and move somewhere the Steelers are considered the “home” team. This is actually most of Pennsylvania.
Go to a Bar
Okay fine, so I guess just four times you can probably handle leaving your home on Sunday if your last name isn’t Bozich. Jimi’s post from last year is still golden (be sure to check the comments), and we’ll update with more if we find them.